Yet another addictive game brought to you by Miniclip.com

this is just ridiculous...how could they improve upon the Raiden aircraft shoot'em up genre even more?! That arcade series was my favorite arcade game of ALL TIME back in the day (still is), something that was readily available at all airports, malls, indoor soccer complexes and dive bars. This game that Miniclip has is along the same lines but presents a much cooler aspect to it. And oh yeah....R-type. Can't forget R-type. That game along with Raiden just revolutionized the coin-up industry, in my view at least. Anyways, click on the link below to play what I believe to be a long lost bastard of these two arcade giants, entitled "Fat Cat."

Fat Cat Get the Cat safely through the levels.

Play this free game now!!

hello? can anyone hear me?

Far from content with the current path I'm walking these days, I feel an absolute need to vent in any way, form or means necessary. At the present moment, I'm being reminded why I really enjoy a good noisy raucous, so this one goes out to the group Lightning Bolt, to which I'm currently blaring in my ear drums. Thank you and may I never forget just why you indeed rock so hard. These are harsh, crazy times for me and I'm not getting any older. What better to help ease the burden of unheeded responsibilty that's squaring off against my untarnished reputation for self-destruction.

Oh yeah, I should probably mention that at some point or another for my penchant to screw up whatever hopes I have for myself down the line in the near moments or years to come. Why this is I still have yet to solve. The only theory I have so far is that I just enjoy setting myself up for failure, as if my sub-conscious gets off on seeing my conscious dreams dashed, my hopes squandered. Who knows?

And yet, this can't continue on for too much longer. There's just not enough life left for me to mess with before I truly do rid myself of any hope to escape Kansas. Yes, above everything else in my mind is that singular desire which I desperately continue to believe is just destiny waiting to be fulfilled. Wow, this post just may be what I needed to re-direct my reasons for trying this semester. I feel that I focus on a goal that's not only achievable but also something that I've been wanting if not needed, then I will have found the key to unlock the door behind which lies my vast amount of potential. Waiting, wanting, my potential is exponential to my ability to shut it off from ever enabling me to truly accomplish my dreams.

This is where a therapist steps in and tells me what I need to do. But then, my older brother would say "Just Do It." Wait, my older brother is a Nike slogan? Hmmm...simple enough and yet forever unreachable. This simplistic ethos is something of a mystery for my mind to wrap around and so will continue to haunt me from the rafters, laughing unremittingly and inappreciatively until my mind can take no more. At this point, I believe, my mind would surely die out and collapse into a dark star of grief and sorrow, emerging only as the phoenix of regret to take shape as the new and improved...me.

Until then, here's me. Waiting.

Killl time with this, enjoy milkshake with that

Well guess what I found out about? A handy, li'l time waster called "Gun Man" where you go around shooting the crap out of simplified machine-like things and they fall into a pile of gears. sounds fun, right?

Gun Run Shoot everything to survive.

Play this free game now!!

Wandering around...picking up the pieces of what I was....

This summer is going to be one of self-revelation, or that's what I would hope to get out of it. Instead, the usual symptoms have cropped up so far, including 1) a lack of motivation towards...anything (except my job), 2) basking in the pit of apathy that swallows up my creativity in a sea of disillusionment, and finally 3) accepting my current abandonment of my past self and truding ahead in the bleak tomorrow that I've left in its place. Yeah, this is what happens when I forget to bring my headphones to the coffee shop and have to settle with the crap songs that the baristas choose. Oh, I forgot to mention that I'm at a Shawnee coffee shop which means that the song selection is going to be really bad. Ha!

Moving on, I need to figure out not only how I would like to spend my free time or "not at work" time, but also how to actually get myself started on doing so. I think I need to get out of the house more in order for this to work because the atmosphere at home hasn't been very conducive to writing or anything outside of feeling depressed. Yeah, I definitely need to outline some "safe homes" that will take me in and allow me to progress...with anything. Japanese, Chinese, video editing, German, whatever. All I want is to know that I have something to look forward to after work besides a nap, TV and bedtime. It would seem like the ultimate waste of life to not try at something this summer, whether its honestly attempting to learn another language or actually playing catch-up on my blogs. Whatever it is, I hope that I can continue to do something that will leave a stamp of approval somewhere this summer.

Okay, so now that I've scrapped together my "list of demands", I need to figure out how to best implement this. The audio japanese blog site that I want to learn from is great but the problem there is I would need to say it aloud. Wait, I'm an idiot. I need to download them and fix the bitrate and put them on my Ipod. That's what I should do because then I could take it anywhere. Mmm..

Anyways, what about drumming? The only time I have available is after work when I'm tired or on the weekends when I want to be in Lawrence. I don't know, I think i'm pretty much done with this post and should focus on the post on lessons learned in San Fran this past May. That would be fun. Well wait, I did forget to expound on what I used to do in my spare time last summer. I think I basically wound up engulfing myself in the radio station and going out with friends. So basically, screwing around. Yeah, basically that. Oh wait, no I remember. Last summer I started off doing stuff with the station while working on finishing up my make-up work for J301. Ahhh....so that's what killed off my summer. Can't believe that was really just last summer. It feels like those events all happened in the distant past, another time, another period of my life that I had since erased accidentally while trying to free up some cerebral space..."really? seriously?!" ahh Libby, that quote will remain etched in the side of my head for some time. bye now

Channel Surfing/I'm a Viking...

here's something...enjoy

The end of time as we know it...lets paint it YELLE

So I'm trying to get some work cranked out in the form of another late night at Anschutz. How will I ever stay awake as to get all of my papers and assignments finished on time? May I suggest adding a dash of Yelle? Ahhh..that'll do just fine.



Sooo..the downlow on this Yelle is that this French bundle of energy is recreating pop as she sees fit, taking on all avenues with ultra-slick synth production that kicks, bumps and slides down your backside and on to your feet which at this point will be hitting the dance floor in sync. Goodness my, the glory days of infectious electro-pop are back, and thankfully the mainstream hasn't caught on to ruin it yet!

another video, i dont have cable pt. 2

Stuff from colbert show, i dont have cable

Getting back to nothing I missed....

This is town is dead to me...or at least that's the way I feel sometimes. It's been six years in the making and this "Mitch-All-Together" graduation cake that I call a waste of tiime and money still hasn't fully baked yet. By the way, my name is Derek, not Mitch. I just had to give proper credit where it's deserved. Moving on.

I don't know what to expect of myself these days. I just came across something that I found written 4 months ago while I was with Sydney in December. I wrote that I felt like I was playing the role of the bum in the relationship with her playing the scholar. She sees potential in me and that's great because so many times I don't. I continued on writing that she's the one working her ass off while I'm the one freeloading around without a purpose, a plan or a goal. Damn, I hate it when my past self nails it. I should make an application where you could be pen pals with your future self. That way, you could call yourself out on something that you know you would probably do later on. I could probably enlist Tio or his roommate Travis to help me in this effort. Anyways, I'm getting distracted.

So today, I ran into the mailman for McCollum, Ace, that white haired dark glasses wearing cool guy. Yeah, I ran into him at the Kansas Union while I was picking up my mail for KJ in the Union. He found out that I worked for KJ, that I'm also the Hip-Hop Director, and that I also do the Japanese radio show. I found out that he listens to KJ, that he knows when my show is on and that he's heard my promo! Holy cow, this is the coolest mailman ever! So yeah, that was a moral boost for me because honestly, who the hell else listens to my show besides Sydney? I don't really know but have been curious.

Speaking of which, let me take this opportunity to further say just how much I love her. This girl is my everything and then more. She cheers me up when I'm done, instills confidence in me when I have none, trust in me more than I trust in myself and oh yeah that's not even mentioning how beautiful, seductive, desirous and devlish she is. Basically, she gives a whole new meaning to the word "cute", which doesn't even do her justice. Simply hearing her voice is all my brain needs to turn instantly to mush. So yeah, I love her.

It's been an hour into my writing center shift and still no one has come in yet. It makes me wonder what people do when they do get someone in here. I mean, I should be doing my homework but for some reason when I think of homework I get this overall sense of anxiety that drives my attention far, far away in an instant towards the opposite direction. Maybe its because if I thought about what I need to do for homework I would freak the hell out and then realize that I'm wasting my time right now when I should be doing homework. Damn again.

On a positive note, I do enjoy this current station that I'm on right now for this Pandora project, currently listening to the "Miho Hatori" station but a minute ago I was gleefully stuck on the "Takako Minekawa" station. I have know began to think of what I need to do for my classes. I'll go ahead and publish this for now and then come back later to add more to this post.

Making connections...

This week has turned sour within a day’s time, as if my cerebellum were knocked off course by the asteroid of uncertainty. When this has happened in the past, I usually take the same course of action as I have today: sever all connections to academia swiftly and spend the rest of the day in a laden stupor. As of last night, I made the biggest decision this semester yet, by choosing to move back home.

The problem with this last stretch of school left is that it’s so easy to falter and give up, taking a consolation prize of an incomplete or a lowly E for effort when you know that you could have gone on to best the class. When not giving your full potential to the class, you get stuck with a thickening remorse swirling around a deep seeded feeling of regret. This god awful training ground of a class has so far consistently beaten me down because I continue to stop progress and hide behind videogames or movies or tv series to mask my fear of failure. To put so much effort into something and end up failing, I just can’t deal with that. By believing that I am just not using my full potential, I can continue to slump off with each new assignment and challenge, safely securing my ego behind a thick barrier of self-pity.

There’s a vicious cycle that’s perpetuating here and I know the reason behind it all. It’s not the laziness, it’s not the self-doubt, it’s the quest for perfection that inevitably sends people to their doom. It’s for this very reason that I am still in the J-school. To learn how to write consistently good pieces of writing so that I can someday take it to a magazine. But as long as I have this pressure that I put on myself for trying to be the best, I will continue to build everything up to the point where it’s unconquerable and unattainable. Kara pointed this out to me within less than three months of our relationship and it continues to haunt me to this very day.

What I need is help, what I need is change, what I need is absolution from this horrible sin that’s blocked my potential from becoming professional skill. I don’t care how I get to this point, I just need it to happen and happen soon. I know the problem, read about the problem, but I just don’t know how to stop relaying it in my mind over and over again with every single obstacle or challenge that comes my way. From washing my clothes to completing a nine page report, each one is on the same level for me when I make an attempt.