Monday, June 16, 2008

Wandering around...picking up the pieces of what I was....

This summer is going to be one of self-revelation, or that's what I would hope to get out of it. Instead, the usual symptoms have cropped up so far, including 1) a lack of motivation towards...anything (except my job), 2) basking in the pit of apathy that swallows up my creativity in a sea of disillusionment, and finally 3) accepting my current abandonment of my past self and truding ahead in the bleak tomorrow that I've left in its place. Yeah, this is what happens when I forget to bring my headphones to the coffee shop and have to settle with the crap songs that the baristas choose. Oh, I forgot to mention that I'm at a Shawnee coffee shop which means that the song selection is going to be really bad. Ha!

Moving on, I need to figure out not only how I would like to spend my free time or "not at work" time, but also how to actually get myself started on doing so. I think I need to get out of the house more in order for this to work because the atmosphere at home hasn't been very conducive to writing or anything outside of feeling depressed. Yeah, I definitely need to outline some "safe homes" that will take me in and allow me to progress...with anything. Japanese, Chinese, video editing, German, whatever. All I want is to know that I have something to look forward to after work besides a nap, TV and bedtime. It would seem like the ultimate waste of life to not try at something this summer, whether its honestly attempting to learn another language or actually playing catch-up on my blogs. Whatever it is, I hope that I can continue to do something that will leave a stamp of approval somewhere this summer.

Okay, so now that I've scrapped together my "list of demands", I need to figure out how to best implement this. The audio japanese blog site that I want to learn from is great but the problem there is I would need to say it aloud. Wait, I'm an idiot. I need to download them and fix the bitrate and put them on my Ipod. That's what I should do because then I could take it anywhere. Mmm..

Anyways, what about drumming? The only time I have available is after work when I'm tired or on the weekends when I want to be in Lawrence. I don't know, I think i'm pretty much done with this post and should focus on the post on lessons learned in San Fran this past May. That would be fun. Well wait, I did forget to expound on what I used to do in my spare time last summer. I think I basically wound up engulfing myself in the radio station and going out with friends. So basically, screwing around. Yeah, basically that. Oh wait, no I remember. Last summer I started off doing stuff with the station while working on finishing up my make-up work for J301. that's what killed off my summer. Can't believe that was really just last summer. It feels like those events all happened in the distant past, another time, another period of my life that I had since erased accidentally while trying to free up some cerebral space..."really? seriously?!" ahh Libby, that quote will remain etched in the side of my head for some time. bye now

Monday, June 2, 2008